Who do i think i am?

Can I have everybody's attention please? I'd like to make a toast. November 2020 marks the second year anniversary of my celibacy and we should all be celebrating! Yes, I'm super proud of myself!! But here's the tea👀... During this period of sexual prudence, I hardly even masturbated. This is despite my ferocious sexual appetite.  In fact, I vividly recall my first post-celibacy pleasure session in April of 2019. I gave myself such an explosive orgasm that I ejaculated, for the first time in my entire life!  I mean, this orgasm was surely explosive for the obvious reason, squirting 💦. But it was also such a delightful surprise because technically, I wasn't masturbating. I was simply stimulating the senses of smell and touch with an aromatic massage of my nether regions. This innocence was inspired by my then belief that abstinence would help heal my sacral chakra and transmute sexual traumas.  Happily, I no longer hold these spiritually correct beliefs. Don't ...

Honestly, I'm starting to worry about my level of contentment in not so satisfying conditions. I know I shouldn't but I am. Maybe because I've listened to one too many lectures on spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. It might also be due to the fact that I have a history of dissociation and bottling shit up to such an extent that I have periodic bursts of negativity that seem totally uncalled for.  For someone who recently lost her beloved phone, is back to living with her parents and has friends on the other side of the country. Not to mention that my lover is yet to manifest. I legit should be having a harder time. But I'm not. I sure miss my humans on a daily and still dream of finding my phone under a pile of clothes. However, these 'negative' emotions subside as quickly as they emerge.  No longer do I wallow in a pool of murkiness like I did before. I remember the god-awful depressive abyss I fell into months after the croaking of my twin flame. I did ...

Yep! Turns out I'm eternal and so is all my bullshit. For real, so much shit has shifted in my life yet, much has stayed the same. With all the transformations I've undergone since the first post on this blog, the person that is me is still me. I say this with great humility, the past two years have been a series of tower moments orchestrated by the Universe which has yielded bucketloads of wisdom. In the Astral world, I have attained queen status...but in humandom, my personality still stands. I mean, I'm still bordering on insecurity and arrogance, near-fatal obsession and stark aloofness, dark depression, and sunflower joy. Basically, despite reconnecting with my divinity and owning in, I'm sorry to report that I ain't a nebulous mist. Not yet anyway.  Because you see, my spiritual maturity came because of my ego and shadow self, not despite them. Once I was schooled in the art of not taking my personality seriously because it ain't even me, I underwent anoth...